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Parenting Teenagers - 5 Big Fat Lies to Being a Perfect Parent
by
Terre Grable
As a counselor, I have seen many parents run themselves ragged trying to be "The Perfect Parent" to their teenager. When their efforts fall short and the relationship with their teenager is lacking, many parents can feel frustrated and disappointed. Here are some myth busters of how to be the Perfect Parent.
In order to have a good relationship with my teenager, I need to:
1. Spend every waking moment with my teenager
Somehow there is a lofty thought that a good relationship with teenagers begins with spending all day, every day with them. As if "Perfect Parents" are the ones that spend all of their free time with their teenagers, filling their days shopping at the mall, or working gleefully together in the back yard.
Yes, and no! Spending time with their parents is something that most teenagers really want, and enjoy doing. However, teenagers also crave their independence. It is better to find a time and consistently meet with them, than to try to overcrowd your teenager. As in the end, this can drive a teenager crazy.
2. Have a serious discourse of the philosophy of life every morning.
Mornings can be a difficult time of the day for parents and teenagers. Hurried parents are often trying to get their just woken up teenagers out the door, usually with some sort of half - eaten pastry hanging out of their mouths.
Save the in depth philosophical discussions for a time when there are no distractions. Make the mornings as smooth as possible. For many people, how they start their morning will determine their mood for the remainder of the day.
3. Use every last penny of my paycheck for my teenager's every whim
Parents want the best for their teenagers, and enjoy being able give their teenagers those gifts and gadgets they did not have during their adolescence. However, sometimes parents can get carried away and over extend themselves financially, while trying to give their teenager the best life possible.
The irony is that most teenagers do not necessarily want a lot of money showered on them. Now don't get me wrong, most will accept monetary gifts and extravagance. But if a parent is trying to show love by spending money on them, this very well may backfire. Teenagers are quite keen at being able to distinguish between authentic affection and purchased admiration.
4. Know the answers to all of their questions
As a parent, we want to be the "go to person" for our teenager. However, some parents assume filling this position means they have to be the knowledgeable sage for all of life's problems. As if their inability to give an answer is equivalent to being a failure as a parent.
Horse Hockey! What is a parent to do? Find someone that may know the answer. Being able to point your teenager into the right direction will encourage self determination, and it will show that you are listening and taking their questions seriously.
5. Be the "cool" parent
Many parents attempt to be the "cool" parent that blends into the teenage crowd. They dress the part, listen to the same music as their teenager, and even try to pick up the current slang of the day. While the intention of wanting to connect to the teenage world is noble, often this can result in embarrassment for both you and your teenager.
Instead, just be yourself. This is not to say that as a parent your dress attire cannot be current and contemporary. Nor that you cannot share any similar taste in music or popular culture with your teenager. However, the rule of thumb is authenticity rather than resorting to becoming an adolescent yourself by trying to "fit in." You would probably find that your teenager's respect for you is not based in what you wear, but in who you are.
Author Resource:- Are you looking for more practical solutions for parenting your teenager? I invite you to check out http://www.parentingyourteenager.com/ where you will find more information to help parents and teens become better friends when they feel like enemies.
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When presented with an opportunity or a challenge, many people will sayI will try or I will have a go at it. and you can tell that they have no enthusiasm for succeeding. They approach the situation with a sense of apprehension and
a minimum of enthusiasm, they usually
really are not prepared to put their heart and soul into it.
When this is the case, there is a greater chance of failure than of success.
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... the degree of success that a person achieves is in direct proportion to the amount of enthusiasm and effort they put into the task. The lack of commitment will automatically doom them to fail and create within them a fear of failure which, in turn, leads to inaction.
From the start, a positive attitude is needed. They should be saying and thinking I will do it, and I can do it. The intent to be successful is transforming, and the womb of all Success. Even Failure is a Success in Failing.
With an intent and an attitude to be Financially Successful, they give themselves a greater chance of succeeding and they will no longer be afraid to fail.
A pole vaulter, being interviewed after he had just done his best vault of the meet, was asked : How Did you achieve such a high vault ?, His answer was, I threw my Heart over the bar First.
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In the Broadway musical Damn Yankees, the coach is giving a pep talk to players before the game. As he tries to motivate them, he sings the song "You've gotta have heart - all you really need is heart."
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The meditation will occur naturally as you allow the Bhuddist Chants to draw you into a peacful and silent state of mind, ending with tibetan bells to guide you into the void and prepare you to attract the good things into your life.
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Relax, and take a few minutes each day to meditate and gain a peace of mind.
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Bhuddist Chants
you into the void and prepare you to attract the good things into your life. 
